Nintendo

The Thin Yellow Line

HIGH Destroying every Lego object in my path.

LOW Lengthy load times.

WTF Pig cannons and chicken guns? Okay, I'll roll with it.

Is Xenoblade the Greatest JRPG of This Generation?

HIGH Taking down a rare monster ten levels higher than your party with Melia in the lead.

LOW Traipsing through seemingly endless sidequests to build affinity.

WTF The ending is weirdly reminiscent of Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey.

Another Cup of Tea, Professor... I'm Falling Asleep

HIGH Seeing more puzzles integrated into the story events.

LOW Buying all the clues to a puzzle and still not knowing how to solve it.

WTF Straightforward equations shouldn't count as puzzles.

Stuck in the Clouds

HIGH The boss in dungeon four.

LOW Inconsistent stabs AND falling off a ledge to be respawned next to a lantern ghost in the Silent Realm.

WTF To open the gate of time, you must attain the three sacred flames. To get the sacred flames, you must acquire the three sacred gifts. To get those, you must procure the fifteen tears of the goddess....

Lost in the Mist

HIGH That moment when a puzzle that seemed to have no answer suddenly crystallized in my mind.

LOW Every single moment of the subplot with Chief Jakes is terrible.

WTF That's Goosey!

Not for Kindling

HIGH Look at those realistic flames! And all the different kinds of wood to burn!

LOW You can't stack the fire to insane proportions—no raging bonfires allowed.

WTF This is the Wii's second fireplace simulator. Is this actually a thing?

Such a Tease

HIGH Going through the test area that recaps the previous games.

LOW Getting to the end of the game and realizing that it was the middle of the story.

WTF Why can't anyone just say what they think is happening?

Strong Enough for a Man, Made for a Woman

HIGH Witnessing customer after customer go gaga over my ensembles.

LOW Realizing that their taste was dictated almost exclusively by brand.

WTF There are two men in the whole game: One is the store owner/love interest, the other is his butler.

Game Description: Metroid Fusion is a side-scrolling action game that's more in line with the series' NES origin than its GameCube contemporary, the first-person action game Metroid Prime. In this one, players take the bounty hunter Samus on an extermination mission through a research facility to kill X parasites--nasty creatures that absorb and assimilate the powers of their host. After she survived an X attack through the use of a vaccine made with X parasite DNA, she can now absorb the parasites to regain health and obtain special powers, like the morph ball, space jump, and wave beam. The problem is that the parasites are quickly making their way through the research lab's many dangerous projects and subsuming their abilities.

Subtraction by Addition

HIGH When the game starts inverting and magnifying gravity.

LOW The cut-scene preceding a major boss encounter that depicts Samus as a sobbing child.

WTF Could you have maybe let me use the Varia suit before I spent all that time dying from heat?