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Burnout Crash! Review

A Smashing Good Time

Burnout Crash! Screenshot

HIGH When the final explosion in Rush Hour mode causes a chain reaction that demolishes everything on the screen.

LOW Reaching the end of a Pile Up with a full 5x multiplier and dying immediately due to being out of position.

WTF "Umbrellers"?

Battlefield 3 Review

Two Halves of a Trick Coin

Battlefield 3 Screenshot

HIGH Driving a tank, running into an enemy tank, frantically trying to shoot each other, and then getting out and destroying both tanks with rockets.

LOW I have to launch the game through a web page? Is this 1998?

WTF OH MY GOD GUYS COME LOOK I'M FLYING THE HELICOPTER I'M SO COOL *crash*

Shadows of the Damned Third Opinion

So... Dream Team, eh?

Shadows of the Damned Screenshot

HIGH The Moor Pu Dekcuf.

LOW The "Big Boner" and chase sequences.

WTF Justine looks like a reject from the Metal Gear Solid series.

Shadows of the Damned Second Opinion

Magnifico, Indeed

Shadows of the Damned Screenshot

HIGH Killing six demons with a single Hot Boner.

LOW The boring switch puzzles right before the final boss.

WTF If I had to pick one, it'd be the discovery that strawberries are made of ground up tongues. Really, the entire game is a giant WTF.

Shadows of the Damned Review

More Boner Jokes than You Can Shake a Dick At

Shadows of the Damned Screenshot

HIGH The interplay between Garcia and Johnson is often quite hilarious. I loved these characters, despite their inherent cheesiness. Oh, and the Evil Dead homage level.

LOW Avoiding a recurring enemy who instantly kills you when she touches you. The game's controls make that far more challenging than it should be at certain points.

WTF Seriously, this whole game is one giant WTF?!? moment.

Alice: Madness Returns Review

Bipolar

Alice: Madness Returns Screenshot

HIGH Fantastic art direction and a horrifically surreal tone.

LOW Breaking "crates" and tracking down meaningless collectibles? So '90s.

WTF Are players really supposed to be able to hear the hidden snouts oinking?

Crysis 2 Review

Clothes Really Do Make the Man

Crysis 2 Screenshot

HIGH Taking out every single soldier in a level, completely undetected.

LOW Alcatraz's status as a silly silent protagonist.

WTF Why can I bash this door down, but not that one?

Mass Effect 2: Arrival Review

What arrived? My Seven Dollars into EA's account?

Mass Effect 2: Arrival Screenshot

HIGH I can finally pack my copy of Mass Effect 2 away.

LOW The mission feels superfluous.

WTF No teammates during the entire DLC? Really?

Bulletstorm Review

Keep Killing

Bulletstorm Screenshot

HIGH Wrapping a mine around a grunt's head, then kicking him into a group of other grunts and watching the gibs fly as he detonates.

LOW Every line that comes out of every character's mouth. For the entire game.

WTF You terraformed the planet where (SPOILER) lives?!? WTF!?!

Dragon Age II Review

A Rushed Waste of Time and Money

Dragon Age II Screenshot

HIGH A brief (and fictitious) mid-game scene description from Varric.

LOW Everything else.

WTF The immense drop in quality was inconceivable until I saw it for myself.

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