Shooting

One of the things I found most striking about BioShock Infinite is how sloppy it was. The ending, as I already discussed, is a self-contradicting mess held together only by sharply-timed revelations and plonky piano music. The quantum morass of its final moments is only one of the game's problems, though.

The Path of Blood

HIGH HD Traditions of the Trade.

LOW Trying to sneak up on someone in Silent Assassin.

WTF Aaaaaah! G-g-g-g-ghost!

One of the problems with stories that use the concept of multiple universes is that the word "multiple" doesn't even begin to describe the scale of existence. Consider, for instance, the universes in which I just reached through the internet and handed you a cookie (hope you like pistachio sandies!). Now, in the context of known physical laws, this is an extremely unlikely event, so much so that if you were to try to write out the probability by putting down a 1 and writing zeroes in front of it, you could go the whole lifetime of our universe without ever reaching the decimal point.

Schrödinger's Dunk

HIGH The classic revisionism of the Hall of Heroes.

LOW The lazy, pointless, and offensive "equivalence" narrative that opens the second half of the game.

WTF I've been finding machine-gun rounds in pickle barrels the whole game, but there's no ammo in this armament crate?

A Top Contender for Worst Game of 2013

HIGH The first mission manages to capture some of the magic of Cameron's film.

LOW Trying to unhook fuel lines while Xenomorphs kill me during the animation and my squadmates stand there watching.

WTF An enemy merc shot me dead from around a corner and behind a steel crate. JFK's magic bullet lives...

Buck is a peculiar hitman in Far Cry 3. Apparently employed by the game's big bad, Hoyt, Buck has an interest in men, and in ancient Chinese artifacts. As it happens, he presently "owns" one of protagonist Jason Brody's male friends, and will exchange him if Jason retrieves a ceremonial knife originating from the treasure ships of Zheng He. Since Jason needs the knife for another purpose, it is obvious from the beginning of the adventure that he will come away from Buck's tasks with both friend and knife. That's how these games work, and Far Cry 3 is relentlessly conventional in that respect.

Missing Treasure

HIGH Climbing the Queen's sanctum as it shatters in a storm.

LOW Spending 20 minutes trying to glitch my way past a showstopping bug.

WTF "I hate tombs."

Several weeks ago Seb Wuepper posted a critique of Far Cry 3's design at Gameranx that I did not find compelling. Wuepper's argument reads less like criticism of Far Cry 3's design per se than a complaint about the fact that this game is not Far Cry 2. I am sympathetic to his point because I also prefer Far Cry 2. However, I don't feel that not being some game I like more is a fundamental argument against design quality.

Seriously Expanded

HIGH Finally I get my hands on a laser cannon!

LOW The whole first level is just a mess.

WTF It's official: Any super-sized enemy can be a boss.

In Space, No One Can Hear Me Yawn

HIGH Dismembering Necromorphs still offers some visceral thrills.

LOW Being forced to fight wave after wave of cannon fodder enemies in the game's multiple kill rooms.

WTF Ellie's romantic interests seem to change pretty easily.