Role-Playing

It's garbage.

HIGH Nothing.

LOW Everything.

WTF Why in the world was this even released?

Or: Why I am dreading Alpha Protocol.

...some video games allow the player character to have sex with NPCs; even more allow the player to have romantic relationships with NPCs. What the vast majority of these games inevitably do is present relationship mechanics that distill the commodity model down to its essence—you talk to the NPC enough, and give them enough presents, and then they have sex with/marry you. This design approach is extremely simplistic and perpetuates the commodity model of sex—the player wants sex, they go through certain motions, and they are "rewarded" with what they wanted (like a vending machine).

So, out of my ten-year career reviewing games professionally, I've only awarded two perfect "10" scores. I'm no math whiz, but if you average that out, I'm pretty sure that's one for every five years. My gist? I don't hand them out lightly.

One of the games to which I gave top marks was BioWare's Mass Effect. Encapsulating basically everything I love about videogames, action, and sci-fi all in one complete package, I blew through the game and devoured every last tasty morsel. Couldn't get enough. Although it's true all good things come to an end, thanks to the implementation of DLC, good things can keep going for a little longer. More Mass Effect? Yes, please.

Nevermind, Scotty... Don't bother beaming me up.

HIGH Thawing out the anachronous survivors.

LOW The repetitive, needlessly bloated mission design.

WTF The amount of wasted potential on display here.

With the September release date inching ever closer, Atlus is starting to really dole out the goodies when it comes to their PlayStation Portable re-imagining of Shin Megami Tensei: Persona. Earlier in the week we saw website updates (with more promised) and now we've got a lengthy video highlighting how the game has been upgraded, what's been added, and how the experience has been streamlined from the original PlayStation version from the '90s.

Some of the best gaming news I've heard this year revolved around the fact that Atlus is bringing the original Persona game to the PlayStation Portable. One of the earliest RPGs on the original PlayStation console (and the game that basically introduced most western audiences to the Shin Megami Tensei universe) is getting a port to Sony's handheld—along with a much needed facelift (we'll all finally be able to play the Snow Queen chapter).

If you swing by the game's official site (found here) you'll not only get a look at the game's packaging, but various other updates. Among these new additions to the site are: three new character profiles, two clips in the story section, clips of the Speedy Battles system, clips from the Snow Queen chapter, and two sample tracks from the game's soundtrack CD (a 2-disc add-in that will be available with every copy of the game).

If that (and the fact that this is a modern day occult RPG where you recruit demons to fight alongside you) doesn't get you off the fence on this game, then I don't know what to tell you. Atlus promises even more goodies for next week, though—so maybe something there will convince you that you need to play this game.

Persona hits the PSP in September of 2009.

Cry havoc, and let fly the pigs of war

HIGH Capturing the enemy flag with a single scout running and gunning within the first turn.

LOW Leaving my own base totally unguarded allowing a lone enemy Lancer to lumber over and capture it unhindered, 10 turns into a battle.

WTF We definitely needed a cutesy flying piglet in our reimagining of WWII, right guys?

This Trotmobile needs a serious tune-up

HIGH Customizing combat robots is always a good time.

LOW How often the player has to sit through clunky, unnecessary bother.

WTF How did the Crayola-level character art make it into the final product?

A nightmare worth experiencing

HIGH The moment where you finally "get" the game is pretty magical. There's a lot of depth here, but only patient gamers will stick around long enough to find it.

LOW The game's tutorial isn't as helpful as it should be. Knights in the Nightmare is difficult mostly because it does such a terrible job of explaining how it was meant to be played.

WTF The entire game is one giant WTF moment for the first few hours.