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L.A. Noire Second Opinion

The City of Angels... And Hairbrushes

L.A. Noire Screenshot

HIGH Accidentally stumbling upon a bloody knife in a trash can that was key to the case.

LOW Struggling to find a barely-visible cigarette in the neighbor's yard for a half hour.

WTF Why are there no dirty cars in L.A.?

Video: South Park's Stan hates on L.A. Noire (NSFW)

South Park's Stan hates on L.A. Noire (NSFW)

South Park explains why Daniel Weissenberger is so critical of Rockstar's L.A. Noire: he's a cynical  a**hole.

L.A. Noire's problems finally reach their end

L.A. Noire Screenshot

There are three missions on the game's Vice desk, and two of them are ruined, as mentioned before, by the newspaper-related cut-scenes that spoil all of their key plot details. The third mission, while more satisfying than the other two, is fundamentally undercut at the writing stage based on a problem at the scripting stage: The writer/director doesn't seem to understand how gambling works, at all.

L.A. Noire has more problems

L.A. Noire Screenshot

It's not unusual for game developers to take their inspiration from other, better established media. There are roughly fifty games about some version of Indiana Jones, after all. It is, however, a little on the strange side to see a game lift content so thoroughly that lawyers could very well get involved. Even Deadly Premonition, which was noted far and wide for its similarities to television series Twin Peaks, was smart enough to merely use that show as a jumping-off point.

L.A. Noire has problems

L.A. Noire has problems

Many, many, problems. So many, in fact, that I couldn't risk talking about them in my review of the game lest I completely spoil the story for anyone who hasn't played it yet (and still wants to). Over here in the blog section, however, I'm free to be as spoiler-y as I want, so I've put together an article detailing some of the ways in which the game doesn't measure up.

L.A. Noire Review

I Think it's Spelled "Noir"

L.A. Noire Screenshot

HIGH Sprinting after crooks through the uncannily-rendered alleys and culverts of L.A.

LOW Trying to figure out which piece of evidence the game wants me to present.

WTF The distracting yet funny Mad Men cameos.

Yakuza 4 Review

My Fist, Your Face

Yakuza 4 Screenshot

HIGH Hero vs. Hero & Hero.

LOW My continuing inability to find a save point in downtown Tokyo.

WTF Death Volley, the Volleyball-themed assassin!

Red Dead Redemption: Undead Nightmare Review

You Got Zombies in My Western!

Red Dead Redemption: Undead Nightmare Screenshot

HIGH Seeing your favorite characters react to the zombie apocalypse is pretty interesting.

LOW Clearing out another graveyard or saving yet another town...

WTF The zombie hoe-down. 'Nuff said.

A matter of pacing: Red Dead Redemption

Red Dead Redemption Screenshot

Spoiler Alert!

I liked Red Dead Redemption. I want to throw that out there first, since a lot of what I'm about to say will probably make it seem as if I didn't like it. This is the first game in the Rockstar open-world family that I've been motivated to finish, mainly because of both the engrossing recreation of the (admittedly fictional) Old West and the character of John Marston.

Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood Review

We are a Crowd of Knives

Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood Screenshot

HIGH Finishing a round of Manhunt with no deaths.

LOW Pulling off the tank mission almost perfectly, only to be hit and fail the full synchronization objective at the last second.

WTF Spawning, losing my contract, and getting stabbed in the face within the span of about ten seconds.

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