Kerplunk!

EnduroGamer · 06-25-2003, 01:59 PM

Many things go kerplunk when falling into a body of water. You might throw a large stone into a river. Drop a sponge into a bucket of water when washing your car. You might even throw a fat kid into a pool (although that's reaching the upper limits of kerplunk-dom and is more like a splash) or one might even drop their GBAsp into a toilet. Wha-what? Yes, generating the kerplunk sound by knocking my GBAsp into the toilet was never my intention. Yet, oddly enough, I can tell you that it did make the neat little "kerplunk" sound all the same.

No, the toilet hadn't been used recently and my GBAsp didn't have "company" during its brief swim.

In short, my wife was teasing me about using my GBAsp in the bathroom and she was afraid to touch it because of any "particles" that might be on it. Yes, we have numerous running bathroom jokes in my house. Well, as a joke I went to show her that her concern was valid because while the original GBA never actually went near my ass, the neat clamshell design of the GBAsp makes for a good toilet paper gripper--the real reason I bring it into the bathroom. This is a joke people. Seriously. It was as I jokingly went to snap down on the loose end of tp that my little platinum friend took a dive. Kerplunk.

I immediately reached in and pulled the little guy to safety. I flipped on the on switch and heard audio but there were no visuals--we have to move fast, he hasn't much time!!! I pulled the Warioware cartridge from his bum and proceeded to pat him dry with a soft cloth. Some may call it a towel. I applied pressure to his shoulders and water squeezed out. I turned him upside down and water dripped from his energy intake hole.

The situation started looking bleak. The time on the wall read 10:30pm.

At one point it looked as if we completely lost him. Since we had no defibulator nearby and I haven't been trained on properly heimliching something so small, I just started shaking him. I didn't want to see him go this way. Not so soon. He was too young. The more I shook the more water dripped out from his many orifices. There was massive internal watering. I shook harder and the water flew throughout the room. I soaked up all I could, only time was going to tell his status.

During all the shaking, my trusty nurse fetched a fan and positioned it to blow steadily on the gurny, otherwise known as a nightstand. I opened up the little guy and perched him face in front of the fan with his tail-hinge pointing straight into the air--flip open your GBA and show your world to me--it was our prognosis that the fan would help soothe the internal watering and induce clotting. You may call it evaporation.

Status Report

10:45pm - audio is fine and visuals are starting to... nope, all visuals may be terminated. There appears to be a crease behind the screen as well. He may go through life as a vegetable, this isn't good.

11:30pm - audio is still fine and visuals are slowly coming back. The colors are wrong and the crease is still there but we have hope. Pray hard, friends. Pray hard.

1:30am - Halelujia! The GBAsp lives. Audio and video are both as they were before the accident. I saved him. I am God!

Jet Black · 06-25-2003, 02:08 PM

Hey "god", care to come over and fix my old 32" TV? Granted I was unable to drop it into the toilet, but you can still give it a swing! Haha!

Glad to hear your GBA SP lives (now it only has 8 lives left). But you really need to go clean all that toilet water you splattered all over the walls in the bathroom.

And remind me to not shake hands with you next time we meet again. Hahah!

Kin Korn Karn · 06-25-2003, 02:09 PM

Woah, close call there Enduro. Congrats on it not dyin' on ya~!

Epic Juicebox · 06-25-2003, 02:11 PM

I'm inspired!

Seriously, though, that's an amazingly daring rescue! Now I know what to do in the event that I am faced with a similar situation. Another reason GameCritics is the best site on the entire internet ever!

06-25-2003, 05:01 PM

Hahaha, good for you, Enduro.

I'm just curious: what were you really expecting? This disturbs me:

Quote:

Originally posted by EnduroGamer
Well, as proof I went to show her that her concern was valid because while the original GBA never strayed far from my ass, the neat clamshell design of the GBAsp makes for a good toilet paper gripper--the real reason I bring it into the bathroom. This is a true fact people. Seriously. It was as I methodically went to snap down on the loose end of tp that my little platinum friend took a dive. Kerplunk.

Reharl · 06-25-2003, 05:17 PM

You da man, Doug!!!

Please fix my PS2 disc read error! How do you do it?

Jet Black · 06-25-2003, 05:21 PM

Zero Cool......you bring up a valid point.

So Enduro notes that the GBA sp's clamshell makes for a great toilet paper gripper. By closing the case over the loose end of the roll he can manipulate the paper off the roll.

SO.....the real question is......when wiping his bum, is he still using the GBA sp to "wipe" - thus making sure his hands never get "dirty".....thus, the GBA sp acts as a barrier between him and the "objective" - with the toilet paper in between.

Now...that's something to ponder!

I guess if Enduro was playing Kojima's photosensor driven game, Boktai he could do some real damage by playing his GBAsp "Where the sun don't shine".

Gene Park · 06-25-2003, 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jet Black

I guess if Enduro was playing Kojima's photosensor driven game, Boktai he could do some real damage by playing his GBAsp "Where the sun don't shine".

Jet, mad props on that one. Both of you should've contributed to the E3 commentary we had, you and Enduro. Great story Enduro. You should think about sending that to Nintendo Power, so 20 years from now Seanbaby's baby can make fun of your GBA AssPee.

06-25-2003, 05:37 PM

Rotfl, Jet. That was great.

You suck, Gene!

EnduroGamer · 06-25-2003, 06:09 PM

Come on Zero, altering quoted text for the sake of humor is my bag, you impersonator! LOL!

Glad you guys had fun with that little story. Seriously, the whole "clamshell design enables it to serve as tp gripper" was an off the cuff joke to my wife who is grossed out by me reading magazines or playing gameboy in the bathroom. She's of the: I go in, sit down, stand up, and leave in less than 2 minutes idealogy.

Anyway, the Boktai joke was hysterical JB, good one.

SGreenwell · 06-25-2003, 07:58 PM

This reminds me of those stories people used to send into Nintendo Power. You know the ones - I accidentally lit my Game Boy on fire, my NES was hit by lightening, my SNES doesn't work so well after I split a fresh pot of coffee on it. Sadly, that broke that logjam of letters about baking cakes in the shape of Luigi's head and wax candle statutes of the Level 6-2 boss in Super Mario Brothers 2.

Flojomojo · 06-27-2003, 12:43 PM

I thought this was about the old 1970's game with the tube, sticks, and marbles.

I'm glad your GameBoy survived, but I'm surprised you had any doubts. Every model built so far, even the SP, is near-indestructable.

SGreenwell · 06-27-2003, 12:54 PM

Kerplunk sucked. It was a pain to setup all the sticks through the holes in the middle section.

Flojomojo · 06-27-2003, 12:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SGreenwell
Kerplunk sucked. It was a pain to setup all the sticks through the holes in the middle section.

It was like sledding. You have to hike up the hill, but the payoff is worth it.

EnduroGamer · 06-27-2003, 01:04 PM

I agree, I used to love playing Kerplunk when I was a kid. 70's game? Sheeeeeeet, I was playing that in the good old 80's my friend.