Re: General LoL gaming
Just regarding the main part of the review - generally you should have a bit of structure in there, don't just launch into it. If you look at the main site, you'll see that they have:
Opening paragraph or two introducing the game or how the game came about.
Next paragraphs describe the game, what it is like, what the mechanics and controls are.
Next paragraphs, once the game is introduced are generally the reviewer's impressions.
Final paragraphs provide some wrap-up.
You've kinda gone straight for the impressions, I feel it would help if you outlined the game and what it is about before that.
Hope this helps!