[RandomRob]

I think this is a good effort. You talk about game mechanics pretty naturally, and include yourself in your comments, which is a big plus for me. The only thing I'm not getting is what the story and world of the game is like.. is it tragic, lyric, overly dark, overly light, etc. Standout characters, scenes that affected you, etc. I would try to include a little more of that, and maybe trim the rest down a little?