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Old 06-22-2011, 10:33 PM   #2
frogofdeath
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Re: Please Rate This Review: Shadows of the Damned

Good review! Just some minor suggestions, but overall, very well done.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Decabo View Post
[size=3]
WTF: If I had to pick one, it'd be the discovery that strawberries are made of ground up tongues. Really, the entire game is a giant WTF.
I would get rid of the first part. Don't pick one, just state the entire game is. I would also keep the "Really", it fits your writing style.

Quote:
I could go on about all of Mikami's work and why pretty much all of it is worth playing, from the stylish side-scroller Viewtiful Joe to the misunderstood gem God Hand, but all that really needs to be said is this: Mikami's brilliant blend of slick, well-balanced gameplay and intentionally cheesy comedy is in full force in Shadows of the Damned, and it's just as awesome as I'd hoped.
While I appreciate a writer who utilizes the colon, this is one long run-on sentence. Try rephrasing the beginning (where you mention his other games) and I would break it up into at least two (maybe three) sentences.

Quote:
The humor of the game does detract from the sense of horror, but at the same time made me actually worry about the well-being of Paula, since I could actually relate to Garcia as a human being, not some humorless robot I was moving from room to room.
Something about the beginning of the sentence seems awkward to me. The alliteration of "humor" and "horror" made me go back and read the phrase three or four times to make sure I had it correct. Maybe use an antonym for one of the words? (this is a big maybe...) Also, it's another run-on sentence.

Quote:
I never found Dead Space even remotely scary because I simply did not care about anyone in the story, least of all that plank of wood Isaac Clarke.
This sentence seems out of place in your review. It could fit, but I really think it needs reworking to better compliment the paragraph it is part of.

Quote:
The Hell found here is very different from the typical portrayal of Hell. Rather than make everything red, black, or on fire, the Hell in Shadows is more of a discolored version of the real world, just with light replaced by shadows and vice-versa. There's also quite an emphasis on harsh neon lights and metal, spiky monsters that help enforce the punk rock vibe the game is going for. This is also helped by the game's soundtrack, composed by videogame music veteran Akira Yamaoka. (Who also worked on the Silent Hill series.) Combined with the general weirdness expected from a Suda 51 game, the vision of Hell found here makes the Hell in Dante's Inferno look like the Mushroom Kingdom.
In this paragraph you use "Hell" and "the Hell". I would stick to one throughout the paragraph ("Hell") with the exception of your topic sentence. "The Hell" works for that part.

Quote:
(Trying to describe this game is incredibly awkward.)
Get rid of this sentence.

Quote:
(The lack of a New Game+ mode, the overuse of switch puzzles)
This one too!

Quote:
Like all great games, the flaws in Shadows of the Damned washed over me just as tequila washed down Garcia's throat. (That's how health is regained, by the way.)
I would rephrase this. I'm glad you informed me where the tequila is coming from, but the part in parentheses seems tacked on.

Also, I noticed you used past tense ("washed" should be "washes"). Just like a book, the game itself is something that should be written in present tense. Not sure if this was an issue in other parts of the review, but go back and look for these instances. I tend to do the same thing, I flip back and forth between the tenses.

Quote:
Parents: This game is rated M for Mature by the ESRB. It contains Blood and Gore, Intense Violence, Nudity, Sexual Themes, and Strong Language. Certainly not a game for children, although the game could be educational when it comes to the origin of strawberries. (But seriously, keep this away from children.)
I would get rid of the parentheses, but keep the text. It fits your writing style better that way. However, I just noticed I told you to clip the strawberry comment in the WTF section. Now I'm not sure you should, because then you lose this reference.

Last edited by frogofdeath; 06-22-2011 at 10:36 PM.
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