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Old 06-01-2011, 10:24 PM   #15
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Waltham
Posts: 46
Rep Power: 7 SparkyClarkson is an unknown quantity at this point
Re: Please Rate This Review: L.A. Noire

This looks pretty good, but that paragraph about dramatic weight still needs some work. It ends up being redundant; if you like the second way you phrased it better, just use that. Also, the paragraph makes the main story sound oppressive rather than intense, which may not be what you're going for. Maybe don't say that you "desperately" wanted to get away from it.

There are still a few minor grammatical things you should check, too. For instance, the sentence "Perhaps I want this game to be too much like a Grand Theft Auto..." is a run-on and has a subject-verb agreement error.

Otherwise, I agree that it's pretty close.
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