Originally Posted by coyls3
Good first draft, but there are a few things that need addressing.
1) The review is to long. For this site, reviews should be around 1000 words.
2) You keep going from first-person to second-person. Here, they prefer the writers to use first-person in their writing. Use words like "the player" and "I" instead of "you" and "we."
Fix those things and I'll be happy to give it another read for ya.
Thanks for the comment! Just to be clear, since I'm new to this, what do you mean "give it another read"? Is there a way to resubmit this after editting? If so, is there a special way to do this, or do I just post it again?