[Richard Naik]

Hey Fidgety, a couple of notes:

-Don't begin sentences with "But". Use "However" or something else.

-You've got some spelling mistakes in there, like "payed" in the first paragraph which should be "paid".

-frog is right about the "two purposes" point-the second purpose is not clear.

-I know it's a minor thing, but use italics when using a game's title, not bolding.

I think this has some potential, but run through it a few more times and try to smooth it out. Thanks!