I hadn't read it, as there is really no likelihood of me playing this game
It is a little difficult to criticise your review, as I can't really put my finger on where it falls down. Don't get me wrong, it is well written, but for me it is a little heavy in tone - maybe the text is a little dense.
You could split the second paragraph into two paragraphs, one about walking the dog, and one about the clunky controls.
I would also say that you could put some more light-hearted stuff in there. You skip over the 'positive' aspects of the game very quickly and concentrate on the negative aspects. I know it's a 6/10, but I think you need to emphasise what the game does well to stop this being a one-note review. Maybe try and lighten the tone between the second and third paras.
Now, take this with a pinch of salt as I could be talking through my hat. Other opinions would be welcome.
Also, of course I should mention that the dog-walking conceit is a good one and it is pretty well written overall; you get your opinion across very well. Just needs some 'balance' to make it easier to read.