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Old 09-27-2010, 09:13 AM   #9
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Re: Last movie impressions

The Punisher: Warzone
Being a huge fan of the 2004 film starring Tom Jane, based upon the "Welcome Back, Frank" comic book storyline by Garth Ennis, I had huge hopes for this. I'm not much of a pre-Ennis Punisher reader, but I would assume Warzone is based on the Warzone comic book series. Anyway, this film is awful. I can deal with over-the-top movie bad guys- the earlier (and even the current) Batman films had highly unrealistic, OTT antagonists, and I enjoy most of them; the same goes for The Daredevil. But this interpretation of Jigsaw is ridiculous, and I'm not even going to start describing the more minor bad guys. Whilst the 2004 Punisher film was dark, story driven, and plain awesome, this film feels like it was written by thirteen year olds, for thirteen year olds.
Highlight: The bit at the end where it's discovered that the Punisher who the film is based on is a fake, and Tom Jane reprises his role as awesome Frank Castle, and kicks fake Punisher's ass.

Based on Charles Bronson's (the most violent criminal in Great Britain, not the Death Wish actor of the same name) life. I say based on, it seems to take vast liberties, looking over the guy's wikipedia page. I just don't understand this sort of film; the director has a wealth of brilliant, interesting material to work with (for a man who has spent something like all but four months in prison over the past few decades in solitary confinement, Bronson has led quite a life!), and yet they decided it was best to change the order of things happening, and make up a bunch of lies and half-truths. On the plus side, the first three quarters is an entertaining story based around this hardened criminal. In fact, I found it to be a funnier film than many proper comedies. The interludes between the story scenes are refreshingly original too; these parts have the guy playing Bronson on a stage, in front of an audience, narrating his "life" as the movie goes on, directly talking to the person watching the film. A very good film, which could have been something so much more special.
Highlight: When Bronson takes the prison librarian hostage in his cell.

My missus made me watch it. But, for the first half, I was plesently suprised by this film, which I assumed was yet another by-the-numbers love story for girls. The premise is that the eponymous smooth talking Hitch, played by Smith, once shunned by a woman when he wasn't too good with the ladies himself, helps losers, geeks, and other men unlucky in love get women by giving them advice; he never seems to fail, so his help is sought after. Unfortunately I kind of lost track after that, as the film quickly spirals into a by-the-numbers love story by the second half. You can pretty much guess how it all ends when I say that Hitch himself falls for a lady. Friendships are made, hearts are broken, and lessons are learnt, before everyone skips off into the sunset. Ahhhhh.
Highlight: Hitch kicking the ass of someone who asks for his help, but quickly lets on rather than being in love with the woman set in his targets, he just wants to bang her. Ahhhhh.

Last edited by JLB1987; 09-27-2010 at 09:14 AM. Reason: It's my post. I can do what I damn well like with it.
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