Re: Please Rate this Article: Examining Choice in Dragon Age: Origins
I agree. Just that simple change makes the whole thing read much better. I still think section headings would be a good addition. The one thing it really needs now is a stronger opening paragraph, something along the lines of
- DA widely praised for its interesting decisions and trade-offs
- actually, some are satisfying and some aren't
- close examination will show why some were good or bad
- what we learn will show us something about game choices generally
A paragraph with that information would explain what you're doing and provide a useful roadmap to the rest of the piece.
My advice generally is to always write your introduction last.