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Old 07-07-2010, 09:50 AM   #4
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Waltham
Posts: 46
Rep Power: 7 SparkyClarkson is an unknown quantity at this point
Re: Please Rate this Article: Examining Choice in Dragon Age: Origins

My first thought with this article is that it needs more apostrophes.

My second thought is that you have the structure of this piece all wrong. You sort of wander over the various choices that the game offered, praising some and criticizing others, and then come up with a formula for compelling choices. The better way to write this article is to start with the formula and use the quests from the game to illustrate how obeying/violating the rules of the formula leads to more/less interesting decisions for players. The rules themselves will make for good section headings, which this piece needs because of its length. Also, the idea of introducing these rules will allow you to come up with a more compelling opening paragraph.

As for the rules themselves, I think (1) and (2) are aspects of the same idea and should be collapsed into a single rule. (6) is also similar in its ideas to these two. Come up with a phrasing that incorporates the ideas of all three rules and you'll have the right thing. (3) is great, and I think it's sufficiently distinct from (1), (2), and (6) to warrant its own heading. (4) and (5) are pretty closely related; I can see this going either way. For (5) I would say basically that the game should give the player something to go on in his decision. You're forced to choose between the two King candidates before you really know anything about them, and as a result the choice doesn't feel meaningful. You don't have to know in detail what will happen in the short or long term because of your decision, but you do need to have some idea of what it would mean to choose one person over the other.
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