[aoki]

as brad said, a strong grasp of the basics and without being negative, more maturity is needed in your writing.

if i can offer some advice, take a year off from writing videogame stuff. enter essay competitions. take a course in creative writing. if you're in school, ask one of your english teachers for guidance, write for the school paper or start your own. read the work of leading critics in other mediums like roger ebert. just go crazy. then come back and see how you go.

good luck.