[Mike Doolittle]

The review reads too much like a bullet point of things you did and did not like about the game. The review needs a stronger concept; the idea is not just to assess a game, but to communicate your experience.

I'm sure that's abstract criticism, but it's the best I got for ya. Less point-by-point evaluation, more descriptive and creative writing. The old adage everyone learns in high school lit holds true: tell them what you're going to say, say it, then tell them what you said.