[Brad Gallaway]

Hey Izz,

Thanks for the rewrite.

I think you're on the right track, but the opening still doesn't work for me very well and I do have to admit that although I do find it amusing, I don't think I'd be comfortable running a piece that is as informal as this one.

I'd also like to see you flesh it out a little bit... I think at least a few more paragraphs on the game's other aspects would be warranted.

it's a fun read and you seem like you know what you're doing... I'd like to see something else from you on a different game And with a slightly more serious tone.

Thanks!