Wow, you wrote a lot! You must feel strongly about LBP to have spent that much time on this piece. And I think you're off to a great start on a review.
You cover the game quite thoroughly, but it's too long for a web-based review. You should be able to fit a review in a single post on the forums. Although this game could almost justify two separate reviews to be thorough: one for create mode, and one for play mode. Alas for the reviewer who must cover both!
A good way to be more concise is to identify where there is too much detail for the reader, and our style. For example, in part two you have a para about the camera frustrations; that could be summed in a sentence or two, and would likely suffice to convey your message. Jumping doesn't need quite so much detail either (although I'm glad you mentioned the floaty jumps!).
You did a great job of keeping in first person. You could avoid the use of single quotes though, I don't think those are at all necessary. (And if it's appropriate, normal double qoutes would be fine.)
Good references to Crayon Physics and World of Goo.
We try not to "laundry-list" the features in our reviews; I had to break that tendency myself when I started.
I think the last para in part 2 would make for a better opening, and set the tone for the rest of your review. Incidentally, your feelings match mine after playing the beta (you can find my blog about it if you're curious).
Your very last paragraph (part 3) seems key; and I'd focus more on it than controls as the content of the review. Again, this is tricky, because you could also write the review and have the extra thoughts as a later follow up.
I hope this was helpful.