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Teen (13+)

Jurassic Park: The Game Review

A New Attraction has Opened!

Jurassic Park: The Game Screenshot

HIGH Raptor knife fight!

LOW Tapping-induced blisters.

WTF Now is not the time for a conversation about your troubled relationship!

Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception Review

The iVideo Game Apple would've Made

Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception Screenshot

HIGH My son telling me to jump back onto my horse after I chased down a moving truck with it, jumped into the back, and took out a bad guy.

LOW You’d think Drake has Wolverine-like healing powers after crashing through the floor for the umpteenth time.

WTF A middle-aged Sully convincing a teenage Drake to stay with him. There has to be some international law against that.

Batman: Arkham City Review

I'm Batman

Batman: Arkham City Screenshot

HIGH Taking down Mr. Freeze.

LOW "That crazy bitch!" "I'll make you meow bitch!" "I want you to tear that bitch apart!" "Two guns, bitch!"

WTF Who the hell thought that creating Arkham City was a good idea?

Guardian Heroes Review

Side-Scrolling in Style

Guardian Heroes Screenshot

HIGH Realizing that I was good enough to finish on Normal after my initial stumblings.

LOW I don't like straining to see my character in a sea of enemies.

WTF My first Hard Mode attempt lasted a minute—literally.

Disgaea 4: A Promise Unforgotten Review

The Family that Slays Together...

Disgaea 4: A Promise Unforgotten Screenshot

HIGH Disgaea is still as funny as ever.

LOW It's also just as repetitive, which started to wear on even me when I got stuck.

WTF Using a giant monster as a weapon.

Rochard Review

Southern (Physics-based) Comfort

Rochard Screenshot

HIGH The final weapon upgrade is fantastically entertaining.

LOW What's up with the evil guardsmen sounding so effeminate?

WTF "Git'er done" is still in use a thousand years into the future?!?

Orcs Must Die! Review

That's a Whole Lotta Musts

Orcs Must Die! Screenshot

HIGH The colorful, cartoony style of the game is appealing.

LOW The game feels flat, and holds no surprises.

WTF The near-total lack of character and world-building.

Crimson Alliance Review

Hack (and Slash) Job

Crimson Alliance Screenshot

HIGH This one's not only girlfriend-friendly, she also outscored me on a number of levels. I was so proud.

LOW Paying for a "free" game is confusing.

WTF Must ..... stop ....the sounds coming from the .....actor lady's .... mouth....NNNGggHHHHHHH!...

Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 2 Innocent Sin Review

The Holy Grail of JRPGs Finally Comes to America

Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 2 Innocent Sin Screenshot

HIGH The game's story and characters are engaging and sure to hold players' interest.

LOW Battles can be very slow.

WTF How did they ever get away with calling the villain Joker? I guess no one told DC Comics...

BloodRayne: Betrayal Review

Insert Obligatory "This Sucks" Cliché Here

BloodRayne: Betrayal Screenshot

HIGH Rayne's animation is easy on the eyes.

LOW Everything else.

WTF Vampire bites make people... explode?

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