Midway

OSHA-Approved Kombat

HIGH People want to play a game as Batman. This game allows them to do that.

LOW The fatalities are universally terrible.

WTF Here's a memo, Midway. I own this game. I'm not standing in an arcade with people in line to play. So, if I want to pause the game so I can look up a website to find out how to do Batman's… ugh…"Heroic Brutality"… then I should damn well be able to pause the game.

Rampage may be unique among videogame franchises in that, across six titles and twenty years, not a single one of them has ever actually been a good game. No, Rampage has squeaked by on the strength of its premise alone.

According to ESRB, this game contains: Violence

Game Description: Rampage: Total Destruction offers a fresh take on an arcade classic complete with everyone's favorite monsters. Control George, Lizzie, and Ralph as they go around the world, destoying major cities through direct destruction or through their fighting. Virtually everything in the environment can be damaged, broken, and utterly destroyed with plenty of hilarious results. Aided by power-ups, the Rampage: Total Destruction monsters will acquire upgrades throughout the course of a single campaign—leading to even more destruction.

According to ESRB, this game contains: Blood, Intense Violence, Strong Language

At what point does hyperbole become falsehood? I know that most discerning consumers have long since decided to take everything that ad copy claims with a grain of salt, but isn't there a bare minimum standard of honesty that these things should be held to?

Game Description: Area 51 is a great aracde shooter that's bringing its action and challenge home to you. You'll lead a special unit into the famous Area 51 and discover just what's really lurking in that mytserious, classified desert base. An infectious mutagen has given players alien-enhanced physical abilities but is slowly transforming them into an alien. They must find the cure before it's too late and their humanity is lost. Face off against a horde of horrific creatures and secure Area 51!

Apparently the good people at Midway noticed that there was a genre going unrepresented on the video game store shelves: the Evil God Simulator. To fill this void, they offer PsiOps: The Mindgate Conspiracy. It may not have been intended as an Evil God sim, but that's certainly how it plays, and I for one am ecstatic that it does.