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Akiba's Trip: Undead & Undressed Review

Less interesting than it sounds

Akiba

HIGH Fantastically weird premise.

LOW Painfully insipid writing.

WTF How did something with so much promise end up so dull?

Mind Zero Review

Is ‘Personalike' a genre yet?

Mind Zero Review Screenshot

HIGH The combat system is fresh and fantastic.

LOW High encounter rates turn it into a grind too quickly.

WTF Why is there no quick and easy way out of a dungeon?

Clan of Champions Second Opinion

A Shadow of Its Former Glory

Clan of Champions Screenshot

HIGH I never expected another game of this type from these developers.

LOW It's awful! How could it possibly be so awful?!?

WTF how anyone could consider this fit for sale.

Clan of Champions Review

Gladiator Ends

Clan of Champions Screenshot

HIGH Knocking the sword out of a skeleton's hand, then crushing its skull with a mace a moment later.

LOW Oh good. Let's fight three guys in the crumbling courtyard for the sixth time. That never gets old.

WTF Why does this boss obey none of the game's rules? Why am I fighting him twice?

Orgarhythm Review

Don't Lose the Beat

Orgarhythm Screenshot

HIGH When everything comes together, it's transcendent.

LOW Struggling to find the beat in Stage 10's godawful boss track.

WTF An experimental game like this should cost less...

Sumioni: Demon Arts Review

Ink-credibly Bad

Sumioni: Demon Arts Screenshot

HIGH The sumi-e art style is pretty nifty.

LOW Nothing else is.

WTF Ancient Japan is lousy with giant, demonic, self-aware wagon wheels?

The best game I haven't played yet: Way of the Samurai 3

Way of the Samurai 3 Screenshot -  I'm already terrified. I think.

Way of the Samurai 3 came about back in November, but sadly it remains the best game I haven't played yet. Why? Because it was only released in Japan, and although PS3s are admirably region-free, the Japanese language's stubborn refusal to transform magically into English has transformed the prospect of importing a copy of it from a delightful dream into an utter waste of money.

So, until some publisher spends the absolutely minimal amount of money required to turn the menus and text into English, I'll have to be satisfied with a brief preview of a game that may never see a North American release.

(sigh)

Samurai Western – Consumer Guide

According to the ESRB, this game contains: Blood and Gore, Intense Violence, Partial Nudity

Samurai Western – Review

By all rights, Samurai Western by Spike should have been the sort of low-budget-yet-surprisingly-good game that I love to discover, made even better with big hats and sharp swords. But in this case, I'd have to say that this attempt to appreciate an alternative title was a flat-out waste of $40.

Samurai Western

Game Description: Travel to the American West during the mid-1860s—the days of the pioneers and the Gold Rush are ending, and a new railroad is being built near a dangerous Western town. One day, a lone stranger arrives in town, with funny-looking clothes and a long blade that ain't a knife or a saber. He's come to use that blade to bring justice to this lawless town. His name is Gojiro Kiryu and he's the first Samurai in the West. Attack with all the power of the samurai, by chaining hundred-hit combos in Master Mode.

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